Pen Pals

To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.
-- Phyllis Theroux

How many of you had a pen pal when you were in school? I’m sure almost everyone did at some point. Maybe you wrote two or three letters back and forth to one another over a span of a few months and chances are you probably never spoke again. What are the odds you would still be writing one another a year later? Five years later? Almost fifty years later?

In 1961, Judy Burtner, mother of Professor Matthew Burtner (who you may be familiar with through the MICE postings) received an assignment from her social studies teacher to write a letter to a Japanese girl named Setsuko. They corresponded with one another over the course of the year and they seemed to have a lot in common so they kept up with one another, swapping stories, telling each other about the big events in their lives, and trading photos and little gifts.

They would not write each other every week, or even every month, but two or three times a year, Judy and Setsuko would check in to see how the other was doing. As the years went by, their lives, incredibly, seemed to mirror one another from opposite ends of the globe.

Judy took up the piano, Setsuko played the piano. Judy lived in Alaska, Setsuko lived in the coldest and snowiest region of Japan. Following college, Judy decided to become an elementary school teacher, Setsuko became an elementary school teacher. Both of them even married teachers! And over the years, Judy had four boys and Setsuko had thee boys (I think that’s close enough, don’t you?). It just seemed that the independent paths of their lives were running incredible parallel to one another.

Over the years, Judy explained how Setsuko had “emissaries coming from Alaska to her.” Matthew stayed with her one time and a daughter-in-law of Judy found herself a guest of Setsuko’s at another point, but over all of the years, the two had never met themselves, or even heard the other’s voice.

When Judy found out that she would be joining Matthew on Semester at Sea this Semester, she knew that this would be the chance to finally meet Setsuko after so many years. They began the preparations seven months ago and continued trading emails during the voyage since their regular method of communication wasn’t available to them. By the time the MV Explorer reached Kobe, they had worked out all of the details and had a plan to meet.

“It was incredibly emotional,” Judy said. “When I saw her, I just knew her already. I knew everything about her but at the same time, I didn’t know anything about her.” Just staring at her face, I couldn’t believe she was right there.” Setsuko reads and writes English very well, but she does not speak very much so she communicated through her husband. At one point, Setsuko brought out what her husband described as “her treasure,” a stack of letters and photos from Judy, including the first letter sent in 1961 that had been the catalyst for their incredible friendship.


Judy, Setsuko, and both of their husbands were able to spend a few days together during our stay in Japan. “Even though we didn’t talk, we were happy just to sit side by side.” Now that they have finally met, Judy is hoping that she can return the hospitality sometime and host Setsuko and her husband back in the U.S.!